The Ultimate Tricks For Keeping Your Kids Busy While You Get Busy

The Ultimate Tricks For Keeping Your Kids Busy While You Get Busy
SNL

Being a Mom is great! Children are such a blessing and life is oh so beautiful with young people around....WE GET IT! Enough with the platitudes. Let's talk about one of those pesky issues that new moms seem to avoid: GETTING. IT. IN.

Just because you popped out a child doesn't mean you're closed for business. A girl's gotta eat, right? Ok ok. Enough with the crass language. What I'm trying to say is finding some Mommy/Daddy time can be quite difficult when you've got newborns and kids crawling/walking/running around. It's not like you can just hop in the sack whenever you want. 

But if you're feeling horny, fret not! Here are some fabulously frisky tips to make you and your hubby get what y'all need!

Movie Time

Pick a great kids' movie (Disney/Pixar is a great place to start). Ideally, the flick should be between 70 and 90 minutes. If it's too long, your kids may get antsy and come looking for you. But if it's too short, then you may not have time to get a good sex sesh in. Place a monitor in the TV room so you can still be responsible parents while doing the deed. 

Nap

If you can make it work, try to synchronize your kids' napping schedules. As soon as they're asleep, get busy! Even if y'all are tired, which is totally understandable, try to bang out a quickie and follow it with an invigorating power nap. You never know when you may get another chance. 

Schedule Sex

Hold up! Isn't sex supposed to be spontaneous? Isn't that part of the fun? Sure. That sounds great. But you tell me how often parents randomly stumble upon free time? Oh wait...THEY DON'T! By picking some nights that y'all are gonna fornicate, you take the stress out of trying to find a time, to try and force spontaneity. Scheduled fun times are still fun. Believe me! ;-)

Shower Sex

Why take two showers? It's so bad for the environment. If you shower simultaneously, you're being good citizens of the planet AND you get a chance to get some! Shower sex is fabulous. Plus, the cleanup is literally done for you as you're already IN. THE. SHOWER. Try getting up 15-20 minutes before the kids or shower at night. Y'all will sleep soundly I'm sure after a special shower. 

Expand Your Sexual Imagination

Sex doesn't just have to be you and your partner in a bed penetrating. Sex can be lots of things! A little finger action in a parked car. A bit of oral as someone else cooks. Even a sensual massage before bed can do the trick. You're not always gonna be up for full-on intercourse. That's ok. Kids are freakin' tiring! So open up your mind to sexual adventures that don't involve penetration and see what happens. Who knows? You may come to really enjoy the spontaneous oral your partner gives you as you answer e-mails. (Just a suggestion...)

Hire A Babysitter

I'm pretty sure the role of babysitter was invented to aid parents in their quest for sexual satisfaction. In other words, the babysitter comes over, so the parents can have a night to themselves (to cum together obviously). When you've got kids, you don't want to have sex at the expense of being a responsible parent. The solution? A competent sitter who can care for your children while you have a fabulous night on the town and can come home to sleeping children where your bed awaits.

Talk To Each Other

At the end of the day, the most important thing is communication. If you're not satisfied with where your sex life is at, talk to your partner. There are gonna be times when neither of you is feeling horny. There are gonna be times when both of you feel way too busy. But never forget that the most important satisfaction can come from being open with your partner and talking through any issues. Your marriage, your family, and yes, your sex life, will be all the better for it! 

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