Back in June, "The Devil Wears Prada" turned 10 years old. Can you believe it's been 10 years since I started THIS diet?!
I jest...kind of. ANYWAYS, it was an iconic film that became a box-office hit and gave us one-liners still in use today!
In honor of this seminal cinematic experience (am I going too far?), I'm reimagining the film with a new Miranda, a new bitchy boss. Her name? NeNe Leakes.
Me getting ready for my interview for an assistant job at a magazine called "Shady Wig":
My roommate's name is Monica, so this works out perfectly.
What NeNe's 1st assistant says upon meeting me:
He's a fabulous kween, second only to the true KWEEN herself.
NeNe looking at me as I walk into her office:
I am SHIVERING from the shade.
I tell Miss Leakes that I think I look good in my half-off Macy's outfit:
*cue my internal crying*
I'm asked to get the 8th "Harry Potter" book (which doesn't exist. At least Miranda made Andy get a book that was actually going to be released!). Unsurprisingly, I fail to acquire it, which means I get this look:
I think I just died. Can someone check my pulse?
But eventually, I get the hang of the job. I even help NeNe remember a name of a former "Housewife" (NeNe's moved on from those plebeians) who's at some party. She gives me one of these:
...and I felt happier than I had in months!
When NeNe demotes the 1st assistant:
Now who's basic you former first assistant byotch?!
At Fashion Week (which is held in Atlanta of course), NeNe learns (because I tell her since I'm so loyal) that "Shady Wig" is trying to replace her:
All those who oppose the Kween should be terrified.
When I tell NeNe that I would never do what she did to Kim Zolciak (who is basically the Nigel of our saga), she replies:
I don't know if I could ever pull somebody's weave out.
I tell NeNe that maybe I can't turn into the thing she wants me to be...
So I get out of the car and throw my iPhone 6+ (cause I'm bougie like that) into a fountain and take a Southwest flight (cause I'm not actually that bougie) home. But I'll never forget my brief stint at "Shady Wig" and the ice-queen, NeNe Leakes.
No tears indeed (well, maybe a few).